Leanne’s story

08 Oct Leanne’s story

‘I am really sorry Leanne, but I am afraid there is no heartbeat.’ Those dreaded, empty words play out around and around in my mind every single day.

When Leanne went to hospital earlier this year for a regular check-up at 34 weeks pregnant, she felt confident that from this point, nothing could go wrong with her pregnancy. She was excited to hear the beautiful sound of my little one’s heartbeat. Sadly, she never heard it.

Arthur was born sleeping on 28th January 2021. Leanne says, “I owe so much to the midwife who came into work that night, knowing she was going to be delivering my baby which would never take a breath. She was my absolute rock in that moment and I will be forever grateful for her and all that she did. I feel lucky that, despite it being an incredibly sad moment, she allowed me to make beautiful and positive memories with my beautiful boy.

My GP, employer, union, bereavement midwife and friends all pointed me in the direction of Sands. I made contact with a lady who continues to support me now and poured my heart out to her. Downloading the app also really helped as I began to do the unthinkable and plan my son’s funeral. The app led me to join the forum and on there, I have found answers to all the questions I have and a safe forum to talk on.

What I never expected to help me but really has was signing up to run 50 Miles in March to raise money. I began jogging mid-February to see if I thought it would be possible – only a few weeks after giving birth. As the donations started coming in and I surpassed my £50 target in only a few hours, I started to believe in myself and my body once more. I found the Facebook group and was met by wonderful mums and dads, friends and family members, who had experienced pain like me. I felt less alone. People sharing their stories helped me to share ours. With the sharing, came more support. It felt amazing keeping Arthur’s memory alive, but what felt even better was that each and every step was for him, for us, our family. I felt him with me and continue to do so.

In total, I managed to raise £2,400 for Sands. This blows me away and humbles me to know that what we have been through will go towards supporting families like ours.

Arthur has a legacy in his name and will continue to live on through us.

We took Arthur up Arthur’s pike in the lake District with his Arthur aching arms bear.

My husband ran 40 miles on his 40th birthday to raise money for sands and to remember Arthur.

The tree in the woodland is Arthur’s spot which has become a very special place for us to go and remember Arthur and to talk about him.

We planted a Braeburn apple tree in our garden to remember Arthur and one day eat the fruits from it.